inmemoryofradio

Visit Flickr for more Sarah Jaffe photos.

So, the thing about loving music means that you love all types of music and that right there can be your downfall. Here’s how that happens. See, I’ll listen to anything and it doesn’t matter what genre it comes from. Sure, there are some genres I don’t listen to that much these days; hip-hop, modern country, death metal, etc. But, there are individual offerings from each of these genres that I’ll put on my favorites list or throw on the mp3 player any day. A few days ago I was offered some free tickets to 99.5 The Wolf’s Wolfdance, a day long outdoor fest held in downtown Fort Worth that I’ve somehow been able to avoid for the last ten years. I turned down the tickets because that style of modern, proud to be a redneck country has never been my thing. Just hasn’t. But, boredom wore me down on Sunday and I took a look at the list of artists on the bill and saw a band that I recognized, The Eli Young Band. I thought, “Oh, wow! I actually like one of their songs.” Let’s get this out of the way for future reference: Severe boredom and knowledge of just one song from one band does not a good day at the festival make. Long story short: Horrible, horrible idea. I’m not saying that I won’t venture out to see a band that I know very little about. It just won’t be at a festival, particularly this one. Below is a list of general observations from my few hours at the fest:

• Man, there are some beautiful women in Fort Worth.
• Man, there are some dumb women in Fort Worth (they must’ve been from Dallas)
• Apparently, walking sideways and dribbling puke down your beard is not enough to get you arrested or medical attention for that matter
• No shirt, no problem. Oh wait, lady you’ll have to strap those back in.
• Bikini top, daisy dukes and cowboy boots does not an outfit make. Oh, wait, 3,4,5,6… I guess it’s the new fashion
• If these people are here, then who’s burning down campsites and sinking boats at the lake?
• Apparently, the cure for drinking too much beer while standing in the sun too long is to start alternating a bottle of water between each beer.
• Raise your beers, throw up the devil sign, it’s a song about trucks.
• Yes, you’re supposed to know that there are no ATM’s inside of the festival and NO, you can’t leave and come back in.
• Wow, this is the cheapest beer I’ve seen at a festival in a long time. Where are the food booths? Oh, I get it.
• Yep, when the cop has you pinned to the ground, that’s when you should try your hardest to roll over and plead your case. Works all the time.

Ok, I’m tired now. Leave your observations in the comments.